• Colin from Canada writes:

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    26 Aug 2008 /  Questions

    im turning emo and i would like some fashion tips (im a guy). and i dont know how to tell my mom in going to turn emo.

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    Malakai responds:

    Say “Mom, I’m going to turn emo and I’m a man now dammit! My body is changing and so are my emotions. I need something to relate to and I found my uniform. I may or may not understand these mixed emotions or the need to cling to an undefinable clique but I know as well as the new hairs that grow around my genitals that I am a man now!”

    Malakai
    I usually just let me mom make the hard decisions anyway

  • Skyler from Tennessee asks:

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    25 Aug 2008 /  Questions

    how can i be emo in school without my mom finding out?

    =================================

    Malakai says:

    Pull the fire alarm and turn yourself in. When they pull you in to talk to the principal with your parents and ask why you would do such a thing reply “I don’t know”. This will show them you have no emotions or are very good at hiding them.

    Malakai
    How can I be in school, how can I be at home, and how can I be on the toilet? You just are.

    editor’s note: Aldroid’s Emo Fashion Tips does not condone this suggestion.


  • Vintage t-shirts

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    24 Aug 2008 /  Fashion

    Vintage t-shirts are probably the most recognizable “emo” fashion item around, especially on eBay. A proper emo shirt should be tight-fitting, show at least a little wear, and be at least 10 years old, if not older. A funny/ironic slogan is definitely a plus.

    Here are some excellent examples of the classic emo t-shirt.




  • The Ringer

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    24 Aug 2008 /  Fashion

    Now, don’t forget the ever important “ringer” shirt! These were quite popular in the late 70s, and there was a recent resurgence the past couple of years. Don’t get fooled into buying a new ringer shirt, the trained emo eye should be able to quickly discern between the two.




  • The Jersey

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    24 Aug 2008 /  Fashion

    A close cousin of the ringer is the jersey. Jerseys are often sports-related, and although emo kids are notoriously unathletic, they have no qualms with sporting (no pun intended, I swear) classic soccer and softball duds.




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